What therapy Can Offer
A creative, insightful, and effective approach to support change, to reduce the impact of childhood and adult trauma and offer a more satisfying and productive life.
My goal in providing psychotherapy to adults and teens is to approach the problems clients bring into therapy as issues that they can fix or resolve with a different approach to the problems that cause them the greatest concern. Whether that includes anger, anxiety, fear or depression, or the belief that there is something wrong with them or the destrucive belief that they do not deserve to be treated with respect and dignity and valued because of who they are, the initial step is to talk about what is important to the client and validate the client and their desires and needs. While I work with all types of clients, more than half of my practice is with neurodivergent clients. We all share similar needs and we all deserve for these needs to be met, if at all possible.
Trauma, usually childhood trauma often originating from the family home, plays a large role in how we see and present ourselves to the world. I have found that we tend to choose partners in relationships who will treat us as our parents did, with the same unhappy results…until we begin to see how we do this and change our approach, no longer allowing ourselves to be victims again. This is part of the psychotherapy that I offer.
As therapists, we are often able to “re-parent” clients, providing them with understanding, listening and encouragement, becoming the “good enough parent” that they did not have as children. In this process, we value and encourage clients to attempt what they fear and provide tools to help them succeed. This effort usually succeeds and results in growing victories that encourage clients to take even greater risks in their quest to achieve what they want in their lives.
Along the way, you will learn effective communication skills and how and why to set healthy boundaries to improve relationships and help you reach your goals.
Trauma, anxiety, fear, depression are the symptoms that bring clients to therapists to seek answers and relief. Let me help you find the answers you seek and teach you the tools and skills to begin to change your life.
Many people want to change, can admit they are unhappy with their lives, and are eager to seek change and feel better about themselves.
Why not you?
Welcome to my Psychotherapy practice.
I work with individual men and women and couples who are frustrated, unhappy, and angry about their relationships with their partner, boss, parent, or any other significant relationship. These frustrations can take the form of feeling controlled, treated as “less than” or dismissed, having your feelings ignored or ridiculed. This is one of my specialties.
An important part of this work involves increasing self-awareness to better understand the reasons we get angry and to replace the anger and other difficult behaviors, that upset those we are closest to, with more productive behaviors that improve our relationships.
I also help families whose children or teens are defiant or almost "out of control." In many cases, the remedy is surprisingly simple: recreating an old and better way to parent (currently known as FAFO): establishing rules and household chores and, enforcing consequences when the rules are broken or ignored. This is best done, surprisingly, with your children so that they are invested in the new rules. Surprisingly, your teens and children want you to do this although there may be a period of "adjustment.".
I see pre-teens and teens who struggle in school with grades, staying focused, making friends, and who deal with anxiety, depression, cutting, tics, ADHD, and high-functioning Autism. I have worked with thousands of children and teens over the last 25 years. I also work with adults who have ADHD and who may be on the Autistic spectrum but have not realized this until recently in their lives. A large part of my practice include neurodivergent clients.
What I Offer in Therapy
I use humor and compassion, and I am direct with my clients. Blame, guilt, and shame have no place in this work. I use Self Psychology and CBT tools to work with anxiety, panic attacks, and trauma. I use exposure therapy for PTSD, complex c-PTSD, and similar traumatic experiences to reduce night terrors and panic attacks triggered by current events and negative thoughts.
I help clients who were never taught boundaries in their families and show how the value of strong boundaries increases respect and improves relationships. This can make it easier to succeed with difficult people, whether a partner, boss, stranger or other family member.
And, I explain to clients how early childhood experiences and parents' behaviors often lead to current relationship problems - it's not just you! I explain why we do what we do and how our unconscious mind directs us to repeat old, negative behaviors including why we select a partner in a relationship.
I also bring over thirty years of corporate and business experience in technology, manufacturing, marketing, finance, and project developmen, and provide consulting to women and men who are facing challenges in their careers and at the end of their careers.
Call me for a free consultation at 760-766-1622
Specialties:
I provide psychotherapy and coaching for:
- Couples and Relationship Counseling
- Anxiety, Fear, and Depression
- Trauma, PTSD, c-PTSD and Panic Attacks
- Increasing your Self-Awareness: why you do what you do
- Teen and Young Adult Issues
- Grief (loss of a loved one, current or in the past)
- Neurodivergent clients: ADD, ADHD, Autism and LGBTQ+
- Personal and Executive Coaching
FAQ
How often will you come in for sessions?
That’s a good question. I have found that, in this work, just like trying to build strength or improve your golf game, you get better with more frequent sessions. That usually means weekly though, at times, there may be a need or desire to come in more often. Working on yourself less frequently than once a week doesn’t offer you the chance to make changes in your life; conversely, when you are in need, more frequent visits help you to get through a difficult period.
How long does it take?
This is difficult to predict. I ask clients to give the process at least 12 sessions for the process to start making a difference. You should expect to feel somewhat better in the first 12 weeks and you will begin to notice changes and have more awareness. However, most issues have deeper roots and dealing with those issues takes time.
Do I take insurance?
The answer to that question is complicated based on your situation. Insurance companies require a mental health disorder diagnosis to cover the costs of treatment. Many of my clients prefer to deal with their insurance companies on their own or not to submit my invoice receipts because they want to protect their personal information. There is no way I can guarantee the confidentiality of your personal information once it leaves my office.
I provide a "super-bill" for my services, as an "out-of-network provider" that you can submit to your insurance company for reimbursement. If you have a PPO medical insurance, your reimbursement may be from 30%-60% of my fee for "out-of-network" providers. If you have an HMO medical plan, there is no reimbursement.
I am not a Medicare provider and you will not be able to bill Medicare to pay for my services.
What are my fees?
The fee for a 50-minute session is $180 for individuals, teens and family sessions. Extended sessions are prorated based on the 50-minute fee.
Couples sessions are scheduled for 75 minutes at a fee of $270.
I offer a sliding scale based on levels of income. (I am not a Medicare provider)
How do you pay me?
I prefer Zelle, credit cards or cash to pay for the session at the beginning of each session unless otherwise agreed to.
How do you reach me if you have to?
The best way to reach me is to call our office voicemail [760-766-1622] and leave a message. I will be notified that you left a message and get back to you as soon as I can. I am not available after 10:00 pm or before 7:00 am. If you have an emergency, you need to call 911 or go to the nearest Emergency Room. When in doubt, please act in your best interests and for your own safety.
About Me
I am a grandfather, have two grown daughters with families, recently married 25 years ago, and have always liked to solve problems, cook, garden and exercise. I plan to practice well into my nineties. I am also male and recognize that "we" are often the "weaker" sex emotionally and have a lot to learn about ourselves and that we can improve with good feedback from a loving partner.
I have worked with thousands of children and teens since 1997 in school settings and in my private practice. I respect and enjoy working with these "young" adults and have learned much from them.
With over 30 years of experience in banking, consulting, financial services, manufacturing, marketing, project management, product development and technology, and over 24 years as a licensed psychotherapist, I offer insight into dealing with business challenges and "difficult" people.
My background in technology, aerospace, banking, financial services, operations and management includes:
- Technology (IT) and product/project development for a large California bank, an aerospace company, and the largest credit card marketing association in the world
- Multi-year and multi-million dollar budget project responsibility
- Operations and Manufacturing consulting for multiple divisions of an international conglomerate producing business and military aircraft, space aircraft, consumer radio and television products, software development, and building tools
- Executive Director of a mental health neighborhood agency
- Management positions in multiple and diverse corporate organizations in Southern and Northern California
- Managed multiple levels of employees in large corporate environments
- Served on the board of a $500M credit union for ten years and several boards of mental health professionals for the last 17 years
- Licensed as a Marriage Family Therapist helping clients ranging from 8 to 95 since 2001
- BA in Economics and an MBA in Marketing from UCLA; MA in Counseling from JFK University
How Your Childhood Shapes Every Relationship You’ll Ever Have
Think your childhood is ancient history? The way you were raised is literally running the show in your relationships. How your parents treated you, the amount of love (or lack thereof) you received and even disastrous family dinners all played a lasting role in your life. Let’s see how your childhood subtly controls every relationship you’ll ever have.
Your Parents Taught You How to Love—Or How to Fear It
Were your parents warm, cold, or totally unpredictable? That’s your blueprint for your love life. If your parents were warm and dependable, kudos to you; you probably don’t ghost people. But if love in your household seemed like a roller coaster, then you will have a desire for drama, and when life gets too real, you push people away.
You Might Be Chasing What You Never Got
Some people date partners resembling their parents, while others go for the opposite—desperate to fill a childhood void. You might crave partners who smother you with love if you lack affection. If you had a strict upbringing or if your early life at home lacked love, you might chase love, excitement, and rebellion.
Trust Issues? Look Back at History
Did your parents break promises? Did they keep secrets? Lie? Betray your trust? Trusting humans again will then become unthinkable. Even when your current lover is loyal and truthful, your brain will instinctively bristle with anticipation of disappointment. It’s not paranoia—that’s your early life trauma whispering, “Don’t trust them yet.”
Sibling Rivalries? How You Struggle with Competition in Relationships
Competing for attention growing up? That doesn’t go anywhere. It spills over into your relationships—maybe you feel threatened by your partner’s hot coworker or secretly compete in your friendships. When love felt scarce as a kid, adult relationships can feel like a never-ending battle to be chosen.
Were You the ‘Fixer’ in Your Family? Now You Attract Broken People
If you played a therapy role with your parents or your siblings when you grew up, then most probably, even today, you’re drawn towards healing emotional unavailability in a person. You’re convinced your love can save them—spoiler alert: it doesn’t, and you’re drained out in the bargain.
Childhood Trauma? Now You’re Either Clingy or Distant
If your early life was insecure—perhaps through a dysfunctional family, divorce, or through neglect—this will resonate in your adult relationships. Some become hypercling, fearing abandonment, and others just shut down, not opening up to anyone too closely. Either way, your heart is playing defense based on old wounds.
If You Were a ‘Golden Child’, You’d Have Trouble with Rejection
Loved for being perfect when you’re a kid? Now, rejection wrecks you. You take it too personally, whether it’s a breakup or an unanswered text. Because your whole life, identity, existence, everything, was about being loved— so when someone doesn’t pick you, it feels like failure.
If You Were the ‘Independent’ One, Now You Struggle to Rely on Others
Were you the one who handled everything yourself? That most likely translated into your life when you grew up. You struggle with asking for help, even when you desperately require it. Your relationships suffer because you think needing someone makes you weak. (Spoiler: It doesn’t.)
If Your Parents Had a Toxic Marriage, You Might Be Scared of Getting Married
Growin’ up and seeing your parents’ perpetual fighting like it was a sport? You can become drawn to high-intensity, abusive relationships. Or you might just be scared ever to get married because you think it is the reality of every marriage. That healthy, secure relationship? That can sound suspiciously too peaceful.
If You Were Constantly Criticized, Now You Struggle to Accept Love
The critical parents? Today, any kind word makes you suspicious. You’re preparing yourself for criticism; when a person likes you, you’re just waiting for them to change their mind. That voice in your head whispering, “You’re not good enough”? That’s your inner child speaking.
Boundaries? You Learned Them as a Kid
If your family respected your space and opinions, then odds are, healthy boundaries in relationships have been your norm. But if you grew up with no privacy or were told to “just go along with it,” then setting boundaries might feel uncomfortable to you—even when you desperately need them.
If Your Family Avoided Emotions, You Might Be Dating a ‘Talker’
Did you grow up in a house where feelings were awkward? You might find yourself accidentally attracted to partners who won’t stop talking about emotions. They force you to open up, while you sit there wondering why they need to discuss every tiny feeling they have.
Your Childhood Friendships Shaped How You Handle Conflict
If your friendships during childhood included a lot of drama, you could repeat that same behavior in your adult relationships—giving silent treatments, passive-aggressive messages, shutting down, and not discussing an issue.
If You Were a ‘People Pleaser’ as a Kid, You Still Struggle to Say No
Did making your parents happy feel like a full-time job? Now, saying no to everyone feels wrong. You overextend yourself, avoid conflict, and let people walk all over you. On a deep level, you’re scared that when you stop pleasing everyone, they will leave.
Your Childhood Role Affects Who You Attract
Were you a peacemaker? The golden child? The rebel? A caretaker? The role you played in your family often determines the type of partners you attract. Caregivers attract fixer-uppers, peacemakers go for security, and golden children look for constant approval. It’s all connected.
How Your Childhood Shapes Every Relationship You’ll Ever Have
Think your childhood is ancient history? The way yo were raised is literally running the show in your relationships. How your parents treated you, the amount of love (or lack thereof) you received and even disastrous family dinners all played a lasting rold in your life. Let’s see how your childhood subtly controls every relationship you’ll ever have.
More on the No Surprises Act:
You have the right to receive a “Good Faith Estimate” explaining how much your medical care will cost.
Under the law, health care providers need to give patients who don’t have insurance or who are not using insurance an estimate of the bill for medical items and services.
- You have the right to receive a Good Faith Estimate for the total expected cost of any non-emergency items or services.
- Make sure your health care provider gives you a Good Faith Estimate in writing at least 1 business day before your medical service or item. You can also ask your healthcare provider, and any other provider you choose, for a Good Faith Estimate before you schedule an item or service.
- If you receive a bill that is at least $400 more than your Good Faith Estimate, you can dispute the bill.
- Make sure to save a copy or picture of your Good Faith Estimate.
For questions or more information about your right to a Good Faith Estimate, visit www.cms.gov/nosurprises or call 1-800-985-3059.
The No Surprises Act (H.R. 133) went into effect on January 1, 2022,
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